I haven’t written in a long time. I’ve had things to talk about, but I’ve been concentrating on other aspects of my life, and my blog entries have fallen to the side. I often find myself composing possible entries while I’m driving to work, or as I am drifting to sleep. My husband often says, write it down, get it out, but by that point I’m half sleeping or I think, I’ll remember tomorrow to write it down. I never remember tomorrow to write it down, why I ever think there’s an exception to that I will never know.
Today I write about the reason I initially started this blog in the first place, the starter husband. That’s what I refer to him as now. It’s nicer, and funnier, since I use that term in a few of my stand up comedy bits. I’m a stand up comic now. It amazing how much material I have from the past and the present.
Starter husband decided that he is above the court order we have in place with regard to college. You see, our divorce decree, so ordered by the court, that we both signed and agreed to on that fateful 13th day of the month, stipulates that we each pay half of our sons’ college tuition up to the cost of in state tuition, room, and board. The total number for the 2016-2017 year was $31,280. The total for the upcoming 2017-2018 year is $32,132. He refused to pay his half last year. Kept responding to emails claiming he didn’t understand what I was asking, then trying to say our son is responsible for all of his own loans, and then completely blowing me off when I quoted section and number from our decree, and copied the text into an email back in December.
When I sent him the dollar amount for our youngest son’s last summer camp expense, his immediate response through email was “I can’t afford that.” No comment about, but I can contribute this amount toward it. Nope, he can’t afford it, so therefore there’s no more conversation about it.
This has been the issue with him. If he can’t afford something, then he doesn’t care what I do, but he’s not going to contribute his half, or any amount. And that’s part of my frustration, ok, you can’t afford your entire half, then make an offer to contribute something. But he never makes that offer. He pays child support. That’s enough in his opinion. Besides, he has his fiancée to take care of…he doesn’t need to take responsibility for his own children.
Well, if he hadn’t pulled the I’m not paying for college issue, I would have done what I’ve done the past 5 years, paid it myself because my boys benefit from the programs that they participate in. But not this time.
He’s in contempt, and I can’t afford to cover his portion of college for our older son now, and our younger son a year from now.
I hired an attorney.
He filed an appearance with the court last week. He’s been waiting for the court to get back to him with a date so he can have starter husband served.
A strange thing happened. Yesterday, starter husband made many attempts to find me. He called, he texted, he called our oldest son, he texted. So, I thought, well, maybe my attorney notified him of his appearance. I waited until I heard back from my attorney. He didn’t notify him yet. It’s stipulated that he can be notified at the time he’s served. The question, why did he suddenly want to talk to me.
The answer…he needs a favor.
In order for him and his fiancée to buy a house, he wants to know if I will sign a document saying that his child support obligation will end on May 1st of next year, instead of mid-June. He’ll of course, continue to pay me up and through June. My response, knowing what is about to come his way, was you can pay me up front for those payments and I’d consider it. Consider, being the key word here.
He does the math and tells me he’ll need to discuss with his fiancée and get back to me. He called my cell, my house, texted me, and sent an email with an amendment to our decree, thanking me for doing this…funny thing, I never said I would…I said I’d consider it.
Of course, I sent all of this to my attorney who, as I expected, told me to sign nothing. You see, he’s being served tomorrow, we have a court date, the 13th of next month.
Looks like someone else might need a favor.